Thursday, April 4, 2013

Secret Subject Swap: Letter to My Kitchen

Welcome to Take 1 of April's Secret Subject Swaps. This week, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts!

Secret Subject Swap
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My Secret Subject was submitted by Karen @ Baking in a Tornado! Here it is:

Write a letter to your kitchen.

Well, here goes nothin'! Hope you enjoy the real life stories from my kitchen!

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Dear Kitchen,

My gag reflex is already going crazy just bringing this up. I think you know by my gagging, almost crying, and non-stop bitching that the other day was not my idea. How was I supposed to know that he'd bring in his latest kill and tell me to clean it in our kitchen sink!? Never mind the fact that they were still warm and nerve-twitching. 'It's the circle of life, baby.' is the only consolation I got after yelling, 'YOU KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY, ASSHOLE!' But, let's face it - dirtier things have happened in that kitchen, no?

Sincerely,

Miss Kay's Protege

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Dear Kitchen,

Breakfast for dinner always rocks. Despite the fire alarm cheering on my pancakes, we ended on a strong note. Besides, I don't think anyone ever gets the first pancake perfectly perfect. It's either undercooked or burnt like hell. Plus, you know what they say: "Pancakes are like husbands; there's no shame in throwing the first one out!"

Sincerely,

Chef Mom

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Dear Kitchen,

Don't act like this was the first time and we both know it's certainly not the last. He kissed me, Kitch! On my neck. Like that. We both know what that does to me. I was jello in his hands, I couldn't help myself! Quit judging me - the kids were in bed! Ok, ok, so maybe they were thrown fruit snacks and threatened if they stepped foot outside the playroom for the next ten minutes. (pssh, we all know it doesn't even take that long, but I can't call my husband out like that.) But c'mon! It was a natural act with a few unnatural noises. It's not a big deal and at least I cleaned the scene with Clorox wipes after!

Sincerely,

Busy Momma in the Kitchen

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As much as you may think that these letters to my kitchen only came from my imagination, I think we all know I'm not that creative. All statements made were complete facts straight from the Peterson Kitchen. No judgment, right?! :) I wish I could say that no bunnies were harmed in the making of this blog post. But we both know I can't.



Here's a list of the other fantastic bloggers taking part in Take 1 of SSS:










 




Check them out! I'll definitely be checking in on all of them to see who got my secret subject and to see the creativity all of them put into their prompts!


Xoxo,

Marissa

26 comments:

  1. LOVE THIS!!!!
    And kudos to for not running out the door when he brought in the rabbit. I would have passed out cold.... The Hubby once tried to get me to fix a turkey he had shot for Thanksgiving. I took it to his mother. ;) If it still resembles the animal it once was when he brings it home, I can't deal.

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    1. Oh, I wanted to run! He kept telling me to "prove myself" as the country girl I claim to be. I was like, "But it's a bunny!!! A BUNNY!"

      And oh gosh - he's already saying he wants to kill this year's Thanksgiving turkey and I'm almost positive I'll be stuck with that job as well! :/

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  2. Okay, one....you don't even KINDA know how much I adore Miss Kay! To the point that my Kia Sedona's name is Miss K.....oh yes. lol

    Two, don't hate me because I get my pancakes perfect on the first go...it's a griddle that does the magic.

    Three, oh kitchen sex.....never done it.....but I HAVE tossed snacks to the wolves and threatened them just to get some much need, 5 minute adult time....

    So happy I've found this blog (first time here). LOVE IT!

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    1. You just became, like, seventy five times more awesome in my book!!! I looooove Miss Kay! Duck Dynasty is a FAVORITE of the Peterson Clan!!

      What?! I have a griddle and I still always mess up the first one! If it's actually cooked well, it looks like crap! I always took comfort in thinking it happened to everyone. Thanks for shattering that! Lol.

      Kitchen sex is the best! If I get thirsty, I just lean over and grab a bottle of water from the fridge, get a snack if I need one.. Haha ;)

      Thanks so much!! I'm glad you found me, too! I've read your blog before and loved it!

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  3. LOVED THIS! it made me LOL! i do the playroom and fruit snack thing too ;)

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    1. Thank you!! Hey, if it works, there's no judging! :)

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  4. You are sadly mistaken, you most certainly can write with the best of them. I was thoroughly amused from beginning to end with what you did with this prompt. So glad you got it!

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    1. Seriously, Karen, thank you! So, so much! Not only for the compliment that has totally made my day, but for allowing me to be apart of this! It was fun!

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  5. Can I just say how much I love the pancake line about throwing the first one out? That is the best! Even though I dearly love my man, I introduce him as my first husband :) Your post was fantastic!

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    1. Lol! I can't remember where I heard that from, but I love it too! I'm also on my "first husband" and love him dearly, but he knows he walks a thin line... Haha! Thanks!! :)

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  6. I was laughing SO hard at the pancake line! That's what I should remember!

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    1. It's a gem of a quote, eh?! And yes! No shame! :)

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  7. Kitchen sex is fantastic. :) I loved reading these. Esp the line about the smoke alarm. Yeah, I do that, too. It's not dinner if I don't set it off.

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    1. It's definitely a favorite of ours, other than the living room! I think it's rare for sex to actually happen ON our bed. Even when it's in our room we're on the floor or something! Ha!

      This fire alarm in the new house is SO SENSITIVE!! I have to open windows no matter what I cook or else it's bound to start screaming at me.

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  8. What an interesting prompt... If I wrote a letter to my kitchen, it would more like hate mail!

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    1. It was definitely an interesting one!! Thanks for reading!

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  9. OMG OMG OMG OMG...I love it. LOVE IT. what a great post and prompt. gret letters, I don't know which is better yelling that the kitchen killed the easer bunny or a quick sexy time. LOVE IT

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    1. I'd have to say sexy time! Haha! Thanks so much!

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  10. Um, you ARE a stellar writer lady! I loved this! It was funny and creative with a glimpse into your life, awesome! :)

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    1. You are too kind!! A million times thank you!!

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  11. I thought it was pretty damn hilarious. And who cares if it's real life? People say real life is boring, but where would you get your ideas if you didn't have real life? And cleaning anything freshly killed is dis. gust. ing. Thanks for sharing!

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  12. Lol! I don't know how you could say that you're NOT creative and not BRILLIANT! I loved your take on it and I think you did a FAB JOB! I'm the not funny, not creative most boring out of all the writers...not to mention my impatience for grammar, spelling and punctuation! LOL So happy I've found you! xoxo

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    1. Thank you, Courtney!! And what nonsense! I love your writing! And I SO am with you on the spring cleaning! Just watch a real episode of Hoarders and it'll make you feel better! Lol. I'm glad we've found each other! :)

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  13. HOW DID I MISS THIS!? This is HILARIOUS! I think the pancake one is my favorite - and you're right - NO ONE gets the first one right (loved the husband line, too)

    I so love this post and think the secret swap is a brilliant idea! YOu did a beautiful job with this - absolutely beautiful!

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    1. THANK YOU! And yes, it's quite impossible to get it right the first time!

      If you're interested in Secret Subject Swap, contact Karen! I think you'd be fan-freaking-tastic in this challenge!!

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