Thursday, February 21, 2013

My Blog Voice

I've been in a blog funk lately. I wrote a blog last week but it was just... forced, I guess? I felt like I had to write something for my followers to read, but I just wasn't really feeling it. I feel a little bit like that with this post, too.. but I'm just going to keep rambling and hope that it comes out right.

I keep asking myself, Why am I Blogging? What do I hope to get out of it? The truth is, I started blogging just to blog. I wanted to be able to ramble (like now), be myself, and just kinda sorta chronicle whatever is happening in my life. Then, I started and didn't realize what all came along with it. All the rules, the hops, the follower gain/loss, trying to 'sell yourself' to other bloggers and/or readers. It's all exhausting! It's kind of what has kept me away for a bit.

I do want people to read my blog. I want followers. I want people to like me, my blog.

But, I won't pretend to be someone I'm not to get there. I won't change my writing style or constantly write 'crowd pleaser' type posts all the time.

I'm not always funny. I'm not always positive. There are days when I will have a great post that flows from these fingers, that sends all of you into belly laughs or maybe even tears. More often than not, though, this will just be a sort of diary for me. I want to write about my family, our days together - good and bad - our everyday happenings in the Peterson home. My random, all-over-the-place thoughts, my opinions. I do not claim to be a writer, because I'm not. I don't want this blog to be strictly one way or another. I'm going to post what I want, how I want.

I'm well aware that I won't get 'big' by writing like this - but, I swear on a pile of Skittles, I do not give even one ounce of a crap. That's not my intention, and considering how often these funks come along, I don't think I'm cut out to be a 'big' blogger. I just want real followers that can relate to me - and I've found some. I love reading their posts and I hope they feel the same.  

These are just a handful of the amazing women that I've been able to connect with, thanks to blogging:

Your Daily Dose of Damn!
Diapers...or Wine? 
A Grace Full Life 
Momma Candy 
The Insomniac's Dream 

Out of the 100 or so blogs that I follow (and I LOVE 'em all, LOVE LOVE LOVE), these are the women that I've been able to connect with outside of my blogs, whether it be Twitter, FB, etc. And I hope to connect with many more! There's so much beauty in being able to get a real piece of a 'stranger' through their writing, to be able to say, 'hey! I can relate to this!', to feel a sense of community, friendship.

I've said it before, I spent so much of my adult life trying to be someone that I thought everyone would like. I lost myself to the crowd. I won't let that happen again. What's the point in people following, commenting, liking my posts if I'm putting on a front? I want people to like the REAL me. I want to feel all warm and fuzzy when someone tells me that they can relate to what I've written, because I'll know that it's all real, it's all me.

I've made friends, lost friends, drifted away from friends, and repaired some broken friendships in this past year. Surprisingly, I have more friends now, as the real Marissa, than I ever did as the people-pleaser (and-sometimes-fake) Marissa. And, get this, it's not just the quantity, people - the quality is amazing. I have friends now that I love so much, that I trust implicitly, that I can be myself around without fear of judgment or behind-the-back talking.

I started blogging right at the point when all of this new-found 'realness' was at it's peak and I'm so glad that I started.

So, I guess I don't need to really find my 'blog voice', because the only voice I want on here is mine. The real one. And that's what I've given so far.

Just hang in there with me, will ya? Read on through the boring, love me through my funk(s), and anticipate the funny.. I promise it's in here somewhere!


XOXO,
Marissa

23 comments:

  1. I like all of the Marissa's I've met. But this one is my favorite. :)

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    1. Nikita! You're the best. You are one of the 'quality' friends I was referring to. I really hope that us getting a second vehicle within the next few months and with us saving so much money at the new house that we'll be able to do more stuff and most definitely have a lot of Dawson time. :)

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    2. Awesome! Can't wait to see you again!

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  2. Tears, I tell ya! First of all, thank you and you know I feel the same way about you! Secondly, your blog voice is outstanding - I love reading about you no matter the subject - don't care how often you post, just know I'll tune in when you do! Much love, as always. xoxoxoxoxo

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    1. And by the way, you know how I feel about the job that is blogging....

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    2. Karen, Karen, Karen - thank you, times a million. I never thought I'd get such a great friend out of the blogging world, especially so quickly. You are wonderful!

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  3. I was SO recently in this very same place! In fact, my post today had a little bit of this very same message sprinkled in. Maybe it's just the time of year or something ;) Marissa, definitely be you here! If you can't be you on your own blog, the fun starts to leak out. Cheers to a quick end to the funk!

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    1. Thank you, Jen! Just hopped over and read it! You're right - very similar messages! Here's to doing it for US. :)

      P.S. I seriously can't wait for the “If I was your Mama…random, unsolicited advice from someone else’s opinionated mother” installments!!

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  4. I'm so glad we have connected!

    I feel like I'm in the same space as you are except I've only had Momma Candy for two months! But there is this push, it seems, in the blog world to conform to this cookie cutter blog look, feel, and words and that's just not me.

    I feel the same way about giveaways. I liked doing my necklace giveaway because it was fun and I teamed up with another small blog to promote her business, which I love. The second giveaway I went in on was a group giveaway and, you know what? I got a lot of followers but I felt like I bought them. I didn't like it. Is that the way you "grow?" By buying followers? It seems like thats how people "grow." Because most of those people who follow during a group giveaway don't come back to visit. Same with link parties. I have to follow HOW MANY PEOPLE??? Just to link up? People I would never follow otherwise?

    I could go on.

    Like you, I have to remind myself over and over that this is for me. I have goals I want to accomplish with my little space. But I don't want to look or sound like any other blog doing so.

    Thank you so much for this blog friendship we've started! Thank you for following and reading about my son. And thank you for sticking to YOUR voice.

    Rock on, girlfriend!

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    1. Me too, Shauna!! And I totally feel like a biotch for not including you up there! How could I forget you!?!??!?! You've been one lady that I'm so happy to connect with outside of Blogger, too!

      Thank you for everything!

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  5. First, thank you so much!
    When a fellow blogger speaks of my blog on THEIR blog, I consider it such a huge honor, so thank you.
    Second, I get this completely.
    In fact, I wrote a post very similar to this on my blog last month.
    It is so easy to get caught up in what you "should" write about, keeping up with the blog, followers, page views etc.
    We all do.
    We all have been there.
    And I will say this, keep on keepin' on.
    I will also say that your blog is so easy to read....meaning, I don't get bored reading it and you are so relatable that any one can "get" where you are comin' from.
    So keep up the great work, you are doing amazing and if you don't post in weeks, no worries.
    I will still be reading when you do. :)

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    1. You're so welcome, Kari! YES, I think I read the one you're referring to! We get each other. I get looooost on your blog, all the time! Reading and reading and reading and not realizing the time! I love it.

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  6. I'm glad I found this blog. I also used to be a People Pleaser.. I hated it. Sometimes, I find myself slipping back into that behavior. I like your style of writing, just enough humor and truth. If I have to dust off my dictionary to read a blog, well.. I'm not going to read it.
    I'm going to follow your blog and put it on my favorites so I can come back and visit you again.

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    1. I often slip when it comes to people pleasing! Cowering to certain people, not standing up for myself, etc. No fun! Thank you for the follow!

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  7. I struggle with this all the time! I try to be as true as I can on my blog but sometimes I feel like I am presenting my life is perfect, and as we Mommies know that is just not true in the land of babies and children :) Here's to sharing more of the good and the not so good. Happy to have found you! { I am your newest follower! }

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    1. I'll drink to that!

      Thank you so much!! I'll be sure to check yours out and return the follow/love!

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  8. Marissa, loved this post because it shows that you just want to be yourself and that's the way it should be. We all get writers block from time to time and it's not easy putting pen to paper one week after the other for a long period of time. In the last few months many bloggers have had the same problem, maybe it's just something in the blogging water.

    Don't become a people pleaser because you will constantly be changing your personality/character to suit others, and it's such a weary process. Be real always. Your true friends will support you through the thick and thin, and mark my words, you'll soon find out who they really are during the periods of 'thick', if you know what I mean.

    I liked what I read today, so in order for me to keep up with your posts I've just become a follower. This is not to please you, it's soley to please myself :). I'm looking forward to reading more of your stuff here. Have a lovely weekend.

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  9. Thank you so much, RPD! I returned the love & followed. I just spent a good hour or so, scouring your blog and reading like crazy. I'm loving your openness, honesty, and most of all - your ability to really OPEN people's eyes to all different things. Can't wait to read more!

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  10. I love this! New follower from 'Daily Dose of Damn'! I'm so glad I decided to click on your name through her comments section (I knew I couldn't go wrong since she follows you!).

    I agree whole-heartedly and I try REALLY HARD to be real on my blog. Some people like it, some people don't. But if I were fake, everything I wrote would be crap because it wouldn't be ME.

    I sometimes find it tough not to fall in the trap of wanting to be at the "cool kids" table in the blogging world (I didn't even know that EXISTED until I started my own blog last fall), but most days I just don't care. I have some really awesome followers that are nothing but supportive. I've also "met" some really great women and moms. What more could I ask?

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    1. I've been a follower for a little while & I love your posts! So glad you stopped by and liked what ya saw! Karen from DDD is pretty amazing, yes? Love her.

      Oh, YES. I know what you mean about the cool kids! I was a regular blog reader before starting this blog in December, but didn't realize how hard it was to get people to take the time to read what you write. I tried convincing myself that I didn't care if people read it, but I DO. I do. I just want them to read it for the right reasons! Main reason being because they think I'm the bee's knees, ya know?! :)

      Glad to connect with you, Girl Next Door!

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  11. I can totally relate to you when you say you've spent so much time trying to be someone you thought you should be instead of just being you. I've been working on simplifing my life and doing things that feed my soul instead of constantly looking for validation and worthiness from others. It is so freeing to know, and truly believe, I only need to please myself. Those who matter will be pleased to be with me being me. Great blog, I'm glad I found you!

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    1. Your comment just about sums it up. Yes, completely love and agree everything you said! I constantly sought out validation from everyone and cared more about what other people thought about me, rather than what I thought of myself. No more! :)

      Thanks for stopping by, I'm glad you found me, too!

      Do you have a blog that I can follow? I couldn't find a link to one when I went to your profile.

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